Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

Houston.... We have a problem.

Spiders.

I think the entire spider population of the KC metro has decided to vacation to the nearest extended stay "hotel" for Halloween.  The house has sat vacant for nearly a year in foreclosure so some even thought they could take up permanent residence.

I HATE spiders... I'm terrified of them. I don't know what children's authors were smoking when they decided to make the nursery rhyme about the "Itsy Bitsy Spider." As far as i'm concerned when that spider got flushed down the water spout it would have landed right under my shoe.


I have news for you people, spiders are NOT your friends.



The first incident happened Friday night while i was enjoying a late night cheeseburger from McDonald's. In the middle of my empty, newly carpeted living room.  Mid bite i felt something tickle under my leg, look down and see... It.
In the same super ninja motion i screamed, brushed the spider off my leg, jumped to my feet.. and threw my cheeseburger and fry's into the air.  This was like that super suspenseful slow motion scene in the movies.  The cheeseburger went flipping threw the air, pickles and all, and landed ketchup down on my brand new carpet. Now besides just existing, the spider had caused the ketchup spot too. What you mean i can't blame the spider for the ketchup?   Before my heart began to beat normally again, Derek's mom & brother were laughing hysterically at me. Issac told me i sounded like a dying cow screaming. Derek just looked at me with a gazing stare that said "wow.. i'm dating this person." 

The little devils have tried to attack me several more times since then.  Two planned an areal bombing from the walls in the living room.  They didn't know i would chase them down with a paint roller until they were within striking distance of my shoe. I got surprised by another when I grabbed my towel after I showered... i went running... (mental note: we really need to get those blinds tonight).  One met death by hairspray... i almost burned the hair in my curling iron off in the process.

Bottom line, i called the exterminator and their hours of life are numbered.  The infestation is probably only this bad in my head but even one spider is too many for me.  Once the house is sprayed and cleaned i'm sure our problem will resolve itself.  But in the mean time beware spiders.. if i see you, you die. 

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